September 03, 2005
A modest proposal
In 813 AD, the victorious Bulgarian khan Krum turned the Byzantine emperor Nicephorus's skull into a drinking cup, or so Theophanes recounts. Later it was used as a Quidditch trophy. The Lombard king Alboin did the same to the king of the Gepids, but this ended badly. Lord Byron found a skull on the family estate (a former monastery Kelo'ed by Henry VIII) and had a jeweler work it into a cup; being Byron, he wrote a poem about it. And admirers of the pirate Blackbeard turned his skull into a mug, or (accounts differ) the base of a punch bowl. The kapala has played an important role in Tibetan religion, while in Fiji the skull-cup helped give conflict resolution a sense of closure.
I call dibs. Because, you know, it's never too early to plan ahead.
Shall we start the pool on the Secret Service visit? I call 5 days, as they are currently somewhat preoccupied.
Posted by: Carrie at September 3, 2005 12:38 AMHey, it's not like I'm stealing Geronimo's skull or something.
Posted by: Carlos at September 3, 2005 04:11 AMI don't think I'd want my hated enemy's brainbox touching my wine, thanks. Bottom of a chamberpot, perhaps.
Posted by: James at September 3, 2005 05:43 AMI dunno, Carlos. I don't think the NO city-council's members heads will be big enough to make decent shot-glasses. Though the long chain of useless incompetents there might allow you to make up for it in volume. That _is_ what you're talking about, right? :^)
Posted by: Bernard Guerrero at September 3, 2005 05:48 AMWell, no, Bernard. After two major emergencies with great loss of life in American cities, you would think that by the third time, wossname might get the Federal response right.
And the New Orleans city council has had what to do with the delay of Federal aid coming into southern Mississippi and the rest of southeastern Louisiana? They're going to be finding human remains in the pines for years in Mississippi.
I don't mean to harsh, but maybe you should stop trying to cover for someone else's bad management. No one looks good wearing Herb Tarlek's suit.
And if you're good, I'll let you have a drink from my new mug when I get it.
Posted by: Carlos at September 3, 2005 09:08 AMI'd be a bit cautious about this.
It's possible Mad Cow Disease could be transferred way.
Posted by: Graeme at September 3, 2005 12:32 PMGraeme: Kuru, perhaps...
Posted by: Andrew Gray at September 3, 2005 01:57 PMGraeme, the solvents used to remove fatty deposits from bone also inactivate prions.
Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease would explain a lot, wouldn't it? But I'm willing to take that risk!
Posted by: Carlos at September 3, 2005 02:26 PMA warning, though - you may not find your new skull cup as satisfying as you hoped:
"Vanquished Foe's Skull Makes Surprisingly Bad Wine Goblet"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31758
Posted by: Shawn Metcalf at September 4, 2005 06:31 PMOh, that John Krewson and his Cockney rhyming slang.
Posted by: Carlos at September 5, 2005 10:26 AM