June 12, 2005
Free time, threat or menace?
So I've been tagged again, this time by James Nicoll, who in turn got it from occasional HDTD reader Martin Wisse. It's even geekier than the last one:
If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)
Seriously? I think I'd choose something non-flashy, like the power to heal (and explain how) or the power to translate perfectly (and explain how).
Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?
Are we talking 'fancy' as in 'think are neat'? I always liked the second tier of DC's Silver Age lineup.Or are we talking 'fancy' as in 'have a thing for'? Well, there's Issues Girl, High Maintenance Woman, Unattainable Lass, and the Slackerette. As Imelda Marcos used to say, hubba hubba!
Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?
I don't think there's a superhero so wretched that the hands of a skilled writer could not make interesting. Or vice versa.
OK, here's the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)
Like James Nicoll, I would follow Ralph "Elongated Man" Dibny's lead. As with the Internet, I don't need sock-puppet identities.(Was 'mask' just used as a verb, meaning 'to act as a superhero'? OMG, it was. And I understood it. I feel dirty.)
For extra credit: Is there an 'existing' superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?
Gah. No. Really, no.
Pass it on. Three people please, and why they're the wind beneath your wings.
Ah, the payoff! John Holbo, Jim Henley, and my co-blogger Doug; because I can, and because they've all thought more deeply about this superhero thing than I ever have.
PS book tag reminder! You know who you are.
"If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)
Seriously? I think I'd choose something non-flashy, [...] or the power to translate perfectly (and explain how)."
Ah, the Doug Ramsey power. Stay away from unimaginative writers.
Posted by: James Nicoll at June 13, 2005 07:57 PMI had to look that one up. Yeesh. What the hell was he doing out in the field? Besides being a redshirt [1], that is.
My less serious power choice would probably be: the ability to conduct humane cognitive surgery on comics producers. "Why, I've never noticed that women have breasts in all shapes and sizes! And some of them are also quite attractive without having large breasts! In fact, women aren't a creativity sucking void at all! Perhaps my thinly veiled misogyny -- as witnessed in my dreadful fictional murders of all my heroes' love interests -- is based on an unsound philosophical premise, doubtless triggered by certain bad experiences I had in high school involving a tampon and some rubber cement! I think I will go apologize to Lynda Barry, Nina Paley, Maria Schneider, and even Cathy Guisewhite now! Where's my cell phone? I hate Mondays."
[1] Garibaldi must still be cussing up a storm at Gene Roddenberry.
Actually, HDTD is now on my blogroll, so I would be a more than occasional reader if it was updated more often [1]
[1] Says the man who is happy if he updates more than twice a week...
Posted by: Martin Wisse at June 14, 2005 08:38 PMAlas, I have three projects going on right now, so there will be a slight delay in more substantive content from me. And Douglas and Claudia are also busy, so.
I really want to write up my further notes on Albanian traditional law, Ismail Kadare, and the Icelandic sagas (and for the SF people out there, I have a choice Howard Waldrop quote). And there's also a series on the female epic I'd like to start. But time presses.
Carlos
Posted by: Carlos at June 14, 2005 09:31 PMWONDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!
>If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)
I actually thought about this question more intently than what is at all reasonable. Comic Books were not something I grew up reading whether due to some sexual orientational or socio-economic reason. Thus perversely I have an odd fascination with them as an adult, in a removed second hand manner.
I was interested in seeing what generic types of superpowers are available. In a bit of wiki-ing I found the following.
_ "Brick": A character with a superhuman degree of strength and endurance and usually an oversized, muscular body, named after the rocky shape of The Thing, e.g. The Incredible Hulk, Colossus, Beast.
_ "Blaster": A hero whose main power is a distance attack, e.g. Cyclops, Havok, Starfire.
_ "Archer": A subvariant of this type who uses bow and arrow-like weapons that have a variety of specialized functions like explosives, glue, nets, rotary drill, etc., e.g. Green Arrow, Hawkeye.
_ "Mage": A subvariant of this type that is trained in the use of magic, which partially or wholly involves ranged attacks., e.g. Doctor Strange, Doctor Fate
_ "Martial Artist": A hero whose physical abilities are mostly human rather than superhuman, but whose combat skills are phenomenal, e.g. Daredevil, Captain America.
_ "Super normal": A hero with no innate supernatural power whose abilities are due to training, determination, and natural talent alone, e.g. Batman, Robin.
_ "Gadgeteer": A hero who invents special equipment that often imitates superpowers and who has the technical skills to use it to his or her best advantage, e.g. Forge, Nite Owl
_ "Armored Hero": A gadgeteer whose powers are derived from a suit of powered armor, e.g. Iron Man, Steel
_ "Dominus": A hero that uses a Giant Robot to combat villains, e.g. Roger Smith of Big O, Super Sentai (the Power Rangers)
_ "Speedster": A hero possessing superhuman speed and reflexes, e.g. The Flash, Quicksilver.
_ "Mentalist": A hero whose main abilities are psionic in nature such as telekinesis, telepathy and extra-sensory perception, e.g. Professor X and Jean Grey of the X-Men, Saturn Girl of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
_ "Shapechanger": A hero who can manipulate his/her own body to suit his/her needs such as stretching, e.g. Mister Fantastic, Plastic Man or disguise, e.g. Changeling, Ela Vista.
_ "Substance oriented Bodychanger - A shapechanger who can change his/her body into the equivalent of a mass of a substance that can have variable density such as sand or water. e.g. Sand, Husk.
_ "Sizechanger": A shapechanger who can alter his/her size, e.g. the Atom (shrinking only), Colossal Boy (growth only), Hank Pym (both).
The “martial artist”, “archer”, “super normal”, “gadgeteer”, “armored hero”, and “dominus” all posses some level of plausibility. Well Phooey to plausibility! [Ah Hell- Here Comes that damned Theme song - ...Penry, the mild-mannered janitor?
Could Be!…]
On the other hand superpowers can go to the other extreme and become “god-like” and what is the fun in that? So “mage” and “mentalist” are out.
“Sizechanger” just seems like a silly power. “Beware my tiny fists of fury” “Shapechanger” only seems moderately useful. “Bodychanger” I cannot get over “Shape of an emu. Form of… Sleet” [BTW here is a nightmare image of Gleek http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Wondertwinsross.jpg Jeebus]
So “speedster” or “brick” Hmm maybe A hero with superhuman speed who also possesses superhuman strength and endurance? Hail Superman. Well the first is usually best. But that is cheating.
So if I have to choose just _one_ of Superman’s powers I’d choose the ability to fly.
>Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?
Haven’t a clue about any character post-1965. Maybe I’ll choose Bouncing Boy, he appears to have a particularly stupid power and the absurdist in me wins out.
http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page40/01.html
>Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?
Again I have no clue as to ‘existing’ and why would one “hate” a superhero. However I recently came across an article that reminded me that I was rather upset as a child by stories of “Spring Heeled Jack”; a demonic figure in Victorian urban lore. He spooked the heck out of me. He is evidently a comic book _hero_ now. A hundred years has transmogrified a devil into robin hood.
>OK, here's the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)
Well this is easy enough. Sir Francis Burdett _is_ my superhero name.
Sir Francis Burdett- number one super guy
Sir Francis Burdett- quicker than the human eye
Sir Francis Burdett- fannn-riffic!
For reasons which some readers of this blog can guess, I have been looking into voiceover work. Thus I can confirm that the voice of Zan is the same guy who does the Zales diamond ads. Form of an ICE DIAMOND!
I suppose the same illustrator who airbrushed that image of Gleek has one of a rabid Scooby-Doo and a studly Shaggy at home as well. A cross between Socialist Realism and 1970s van art. All it needs is a palm tree.
If I recall correctly, the thing about the Atom is that his mass didn't have to change with his size. So you'd get this 100-kg guy who could shrink to the size of, say, a bullet. Ow.
I'm surprised that list didn't separate out the stretchers from the shapechangers. Then there were the Metal Men (and Platinum, the female, breastly one). "Gold, you're incredibly ductile *and* conductive! Spin your body into fine wire around Iron's core to create a giant electromagnet! Mercury, you'll be the switch. Lead, you'll protect us from the radiation. Tin, you'll, um, be back-up. Platinum, you come here and sit on Dr. Magnus's lap." "Oooh!"