Halfway down the Danube

I always feel incredibly awkward when I return to the father-land and see the vast manorial service economy of the Philippines. Intellectually I know that these 'servants' are decent, hard-working people that have, through time (generations, in some cases), developed a close rapport with my admittedly zany relatives by cleaning for them, baby-sitting, taking care of the elderly and sick, cooking, bodyguarding, et cetera.

Viscerally, I am freaked out by the implicit power relationship, and have always remained stand-offish.

But I strongly wonder if it's reverse snobbery in disguise. Why *wouldn't* I want these people in my house? They sure do a lot more for my family than a prodigal grandson who flies in every two years and then bitches about the Internet connection.

C.

Hmm what is the disturbing thing to me about the widespread use of household help is that it indicates that there is a such income inequality in the country that it is econimically feasible to for such things to happen (on that scale).

While in your case it comes down to income inequality between the US (I'm assuming you are from there) and Romania, which is less disturbing than income inequality that is internal to a society, IMO.

Hmm what is the disturbing thing to me about the widespread use of household help is that it indicates that there is a such income inequality in the country that it is econimically feasible to for such things to happen (on that scale).

You know... what is this thing that household help is esteemed such a lowly task? It's honest work, it's well paid -- in Germany, I earned the same money working as an assistant in a big office (METRO group, if anyone is interested) during my grad school years as the maid of my mother did.

I pointed out that we pay our maid and nanny over market rate and that we also pay holidays, sick days and give generous compensation in many other ways. They both love their jobs and they are much better off than many of their friends who work in factories -- which would probably be a more respectable job in the eyes of those who are strictly against domestic help.

As long as I don't actually exploit my employees -- pay poorly, overwork them, treat them badly, endanger their health -- I don't think having a maid or a nanny should be treated in such a scorning manner. Because this denounces the work both my maid and my nanny deliver.

I do concede that household help in many parts of the world is treated poorly. But I protest against the assumption that having domestic help automatically includes one into this circle of people.

Claudia

"You know... what is this thing that household help is esteemed such a lowly task?"
I did not indicate that since I do not believe it. My point was that a significant proportion of the population has enough free capital to supply the wages of another segment of the population on tasks which are a luxury to the employer, they are not a necessity. Note that the worker is not in the same position.
This has nothing to do with the quality of work, the employers qualities or job satisfaction, it is simply based on wealth inequality.

Ah, sorry Factory, to have put words into your mouth. You are absolutely correct about the wealth inequality, of course. The deeper the rift between rich and poor, the more common are domestic workers. I definitely agree to that.

This topic is a bit tetchy for me -- I was protesting against being called an exploiter because I don't think I am. Exploit - for me - includes more than just having someone do "lowly" work for you.

Anyhow. Please accept my apologies.

Claudia

"You are absolutely correct about the wealth inequality, of course."

In a technical sense, sure. But I don't quite get the negative connotations you're both putting on it. If I work for Bill Gates (as a coder, a maid or an investment advisor), there will be a large income (and asset) gap between us. So what? As long as I have a guaranteed right to tell him to go hang at the end of the day if working for him becomes intolerable and I have the same level of franchise that he does come election day, what of it?

As a side-commentary on hired help, I've noticed that both sides of my family seem to have had what I would think are unusually close relationships with maids and servants and such. The Guerreros have all kinds of pictures of such folks intermingled throughout old photo-albums, quite often as stand-alones. My mother, for her part, still hires people to come in and clean, and invariably develops these relationships where the maid will get popped on the phone to say "hi" when I call up, etc. Frankly, I've never quite gotten it.

B.

People are wigged by household help because it's the inescapable stigmata of class. Things become cheaper and more plentiful with time and progress, and money is a virtual standard, virtually useless for determining class across the generations. But people, and the labor of their hands, have an intrinsic worth which is not affected by inflation or invention. The employment of others in your household is a timeless barometer of personal and familial wealth. In countries with a strong egalitarian streak, the status denoted by household help is something of a mark of Cain – it means that you aren't just folk, you're the nobility.

I was visiting with my grandmother last weekend, and we ended up talking about her first job, working as in-house help and nanny for a rich florist. Her father had been killed in a mining accident, and her mother couldn't support her or her sisters. She said that she ended up living pretty good through a good part of the Depression. She talked with some office ladies, and discovered that she was making much more than they, once you factored in food and lodging, plus she didn't have to dress up every day to go to work. We've moved up the ladder a bit since the Depression; my mother occasionally has a maid come in to clean their condo, for instance. I don't make mock of my mother for doing so – both she and my father work for a living, and my sister and I aren't there to take up our part of the chores.

Thought I should shed a little light on the other side of things here. I have been working as a nanny for the past 6 months, and I have to say that if a family, single parent, or what have you needs some extra help around the house, there is no shame in hiring outside "help"-- unless the parent(s) hire simply because they don't want to take the effort to raise their own kids.

I take pride in my work knowing that I am doing a job where I can actually see that what I do is helping someone. It certainly beats all of the office jobs I had over the years where I wondered how my never-ending piles of papers and files were actually affecting anything or anyone.

I know that the people I am working for are grateful for my help, and they are fully aware that I am doing the job out of choice-- not for an innability to get a poorly-stereotyped "more respectable" job, or financial difficulties. This understanding makes things rewardable for everyone involved.

So as long as everyone is being treated respectfully, and the work being done is truly needed and rewarded, then there is nothing unrespectable about it.