February 14, 2004
In Line
We stopped at a little pharmacy today to buy some skin cream for David. A Romanian woman came in a few steps behind us.
Claudia went up to the counter and started to speak to the pharmacist. Then David began to fuss. Claudia bent over and gave him a few moments of attention.
The Romanian woman cut in front of us and started her own transaction. By the time Claudia had stood up again, she was already in the middle of her order.
This is actually pretty common here. Romanians don't do lines very well. "You snooze, you lose" seems to be the pervasive attitude; if you don't defend your place, someone will step in ahead of you. They're not easily embarrassed about it, either.
The first time it happens, you think you're dealing with one "rude" person. By the fifth or tenth time, you realize that everyone is operating on a different set of rules than yours.
Some random thoughts on this phenomenon:
1) If everyone is doing it, it isn't bad manners. Or is it? Do Romanians find this annoying? It's a bit of a delicate question to ask my Romanian friends and colleagues, because just asking it sounds implicitly critical. But I do wonder.
By way of comparison: last week I had a conversation with a Greek businessman. He stood a few centimeters closer to me than I was comfortable with, and spoke directly into my face. In an American context, this would be rude. For him, it was perfectly normal... it's a Greek thing. So it wasn't really rude at all. Just different. The line thing may be like that.
On the other-other hand, cutting in front of a woman with a baby doesn't seem like good manners to me in any context. But maybe I'm being too much the cultural relativist.
2) I'm tentatively thinking this is a Romanian thing rather than a regional one, because the Serbs didn't seem to do it. Or not as much. Or perhaps it's a Bucharest thing?
3) For both Americans and Germans, the line-cutting is surprising (the first few times) and annoying. I think it might be more annoying because Romanians look, well, like us. If we were in Africa or China, our expectations would be different and we wouldn't be as startled. (And we'd probably be more alert to the possibility of people cutting in front of us.)
4) There is a difference between me and Claudia. I find the line-cutting annoying but that's all; I roll my eyes and move on. But it makes Claudia angry, really outraged.
I should hesitate to generalize, but what the hell. I think this is a cultural difference, and I suspect it's connected to the strong German attachment to certain sorts of social order. Which my wife -- she will freely acknowledge -- considers one of her nation's great strengths, and herself possesses in full.
And that's about all I have to say on this topic.
Posted by douglas at February 14, 2004 05:45 PMThe first time it happens, you think you're dealing with one "rude" person. By the fifth or tenth time, you realize that everyone is operating on a different set of rules than yours.
No, the set of rules is the same. The only difference is that here, in Romania, trying to avoid rules seems to be a national passtime.
I think "line-cutting" it is a new habit. Bad one. People think their time and their person is much more important than anybody's else, so they do not have patience to WAIT and act normal. If you have a problem and you have to stop, while walking or driving on a busy road, the one following you will start arguing. He will start saying bad words before asking if you're OK.
This happend to me several times, one of the worst moments was when I had a car accident. The drivers of the cars behind started to be angry because I couldn't move my car away!
I think it is a lack of civilization. Maybe some people do not realize this is RUDE. It is not a tradition. It is something which should be changed.
I forgot to say that I think it is also the sales assistant's fault. It should not enourage people to do so. On the other hand, if they delay a client they might loose that sale. :)
Posted by: Anca & Misha at February 15, 2004 02:17 AMAnd, please don't forget people also show no respect to pregnant women or mothers with children nearby; when I was pregnant, taking buses was a nightmare as no one really tried to avoid kicking me in the belly during the rush to get in and grab a seat. Getting a seat from someone already sitted was as unlikely as the chances of me winning the lottery. Marching on, I got honked and cursed at by drivers while crossing the street on a regular pedestrian crossing with my pram. I also almost got hit by a car on the crossing in front of my building, and the news depicted the case of a pregnant woman hit with a baseball bat by a taxi driver who didn't stop at the crossing, but who got very annoyed that her husband commented something.
Posted by: Tina at February 17, 2004 04:17 PMActually the same thing stroke me yesterday while I was paying my phone bill. I had the sensation of the crowd just getting into me, without allowing my minimum private space I was thinking I needed. Having lived abroad for some years, I guess that I just wasn't used to it anymore, and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable.
Then, I remebered when we used to be kids under Ceausescu's time, and had some certain food products rationalized, and there wasn't enough for everybody...so people would just fight in line for getting first at the counter for the last quotas of meat, cooking oil, sugar or whatever. And sadly enough perhaps it is just some inherited instinct nowadays. Hence the "you snooze, you lose" sensation.
Posted by: Dragos at February 17, 2004 06:33 PMI agree with Dragos. It is rude, sure. But the history of standing in line is an old and not-so-pretty one. And old habits... you know.
Posted by: kit at February 19, 2004 06:35 PMI say bite the bullet and just ask your Romanian friends about it. Do it in a polite way of course, but there is not better way to find out really.
Posted by: Mike Ralls at February 24, 2004 01:19 AM