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Help lines are now available to everybody!
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Hello...
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are Obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependant, ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, or 6.
If you are paranoid, We know who you are and are tracing the call.
If you are schizophrenic, a little voice will tell you what to do.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter what you do, nobody cares anyway.
Thanks for calling.