Signs that you are too drunk
- You lose arguements with inanimate objects.
- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
- Job is interfering with your drinking.
- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
- Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
- The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
- Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case-coincidence??-I think not!
- Two hands and just one mouth...-now THAT's a drinking problem!
- You can focus better with one eye closed.
- The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
- You fall off the floor...
- Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
- Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as the burger, screw dinner!
- Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
- At the AA meeting you begin, "Hi, my name is...uh..."
- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
- You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. -Hmmm.
- The whole bar says, "Hi" when you come in...
- You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol and (Women or Men).
- Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
- Roseanne looks good.
- Don't reconize your wife unless seen through the bottom of glass.
- That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
- Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
- I'm as jober as a sudge.
- The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
- You wake up screaming, "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of night.
Source: alt.humor
Comments: webmaster@bookcase.com
Last Updated: 11/23/97
