Bumper Stickers
- Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
- Keep Honking... I'm Reloading.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times, I let her sleep.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
- Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students!
- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
- Forget about World Peace ... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
- Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Always remember you're unique -- just like everyone else.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- I souport publik edekasion.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
- I'm a corporate executive -- I keep things from happening.
- If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.
- Lobotomies for Democrats: It's the law.
- Bad Cop! No donut!
- Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
- Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- He's not dead -- He's electroencephalographically challenged.
- She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- Theism is a non-prophet organization.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
Source: alt.humor <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>
Comments: webmaster@bookcase.com
Last Updated: 11/23/97