How to cultivate a nerd

Dr. Backer's Nine Rules of Nerd Cultivation

If the problem is caused by something you did, `fess up. It makes the job of recovery a lot easier if the nerd knows what caused the problem in the first place. So just say "I typed DEL *.* I thought I was in the A drive but it turned out to be the C drive." Don't try to pretend that all those files just "disappeared" on their own.
Bribes are good. When a nerd comes to help, have a fresh cup of coffee or favorite soda waiting. It costs next to nothing, but shows that you care.
Reciprocate. Be willing and even eager to use your area of expertise to help out the nerd.
Do backups. Absolutely nothing will make a nerd more willing to help than knowing that you have a recent backup. First, it lets them try things that they would be leery of without a backup, plus it lets them know that you care enough to do your part.
Don't keep asking the same question over and over. If you have trouble remembering how to do something, write down the answer. Keep a little log book next to your computer or something. By the time you're asking the same question the fourth or fifth time, you're pushing your luck.
When describing your problem to the nerd, try to be more specific than "It's just BUSTED." If you can remember what you did before the problem came up or any error messages DOS gave you, it makes the nerd's job that much easier.
If it isn't a disaster recovery situation, try to solve the problem yourself first. If your nerd knows you only call when things are serious, you'll get a much better response.
Don't play the field. Nerds are delicate social animals, and if your nerd thinks that you are getting computer fixes from other nerds, you'll hurt it's feelings.
"Stroke" your nerd! Nerds respond to praise much better than criticism.

An occasional "WOW! That's amazing!" is also appreciated.

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Last Updated: 10/27/96